the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
