It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just want nice things and good sex
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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