In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
