you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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