It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
