How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
