I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
