Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
