Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
