you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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