great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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