You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
