So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
