the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Randomize
