it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
