Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
