she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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