Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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