She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
