apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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