Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
