you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
