doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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