He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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