Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
