Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
