I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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