really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
