I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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