Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did you pee in the oven last night??
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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