I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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