Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
