Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
