I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
