There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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