so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
