i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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