so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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