I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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