I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
