Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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