dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you had me at cake vodka
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Randomize
