Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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