dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
