I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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