I CAN MOONWALK!
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
