There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's blow job season.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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