Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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