you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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