So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
