90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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