I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
